The Past

The past ins't dead yet,
the ancient history thrives within me
Shackled by the history,
my present is a prisoner to the past
My soul hurts,
from the needles of the past
Needles so deep,
they bruise my soul
I am carrying this burden for ages
but can't take it any longer
The load gets heavier by the day
becoming a mountain
My soul can't breathe
under the burden of this load
O Lord, I pray to Thee
rid me of this burden
My soul cries to become free,
free of the past forever
You are free when you decide to become free,
replied the Lord
Stay in the Now
and rid of the past
You carry the past
for it serves a purpose
Do you really need to display your wounds?
Asked the Lord
The past is over
yet you carry it on your shoulder
Come to me
and I'll bear your burden
And ever since
the Lord is carrying my past

I and my demons

They lay asleep within me for centuries,
for I was unaware they existed
Slowly I became aware of them
when I saw myself lose myself
They could erupt any moment
and go back to their lair
I was afraid, very afraid,
of confronting them
Then one day I found the courage
to take them head on
I challanged them to show themselves
and why they were here
We are inseparable from you,
they said
We are here to wrest you away from God,
It's the Light that we fight
The Light above smiled at this
and chose to shine on me with full Force
The demons lay scattered beside me
motionless and almost dead
They were much smaller than I thought,
and less darker
What I saw next
was a miracle,
They grew wings,
turned into Light and flew away

Can I trust you?

Can I trust you?
I asked her
Yes, she replied
but her eyes were silent
My heart could sense
that her soul was hiding something
What is she hiding from me?
I asked my soul
She is keeping from you
what you can't confront within yourself
She is hiding her demons,
answered my soul
Can you trust youself?
asked my soul.
I was silent
but not the demons inside me
Both of us were hiding from each other,
the demons within us.

Reality

Reality is an illusion
because perception is the reality
I don't exist
except in your waking dream
The myriad dramas of life
are nothing but a dream
A dream made real by you
as you gave it life through your Being
Life descended into flesh through you
to experience these dreams
If today I am a villain in your dream,
it mirrors the evil inside you
If I am the love you are seeking
that love already exists with you
I am neither evil nor a saint
except a character in your waking dream
If you don't like your dream don't blame me,
for you are the creater of your dream

Rivers of pain

Let me cry the rivers of pain,
let me rinse myself of it all
Let there be no pain anymore
no wounds of love
My shattered soul is in tatters
longing to be whole again
Longing to meet it's Source,
the fount of Love
An ocean of tears is waiting to explode inside me,
looking for a crack in the dam
Will you be by my side
when the deluge arrives?
For I need you to maroon me to the shore of love
Lest I get carried away by the pain

Silent Whispers

The silent whispers of eternity,
call me from afar.
Choking the life out of me,
making me breathless.
The haunting mirage
never leaves me alone
The mist of hope recedes into distance
letting the darkness engulf my being
The Angels don't hear my calling
blissfully enjoying their Heavens
Will you stand by me in my darkest hour,
I asked her.
She remained silent,
gripped by fear
Unable to move,
immobilized by interia
Her lips moved but words were frozen,
just like her soul.
I closed my eyes
unable to bear the silence.
When I opened my eyes,
she was gone.
Never to return in my waking life
yet haunting me in my dreams each night.
The haunting continued,
sapping my soul
Devouring it from the core
leaving it lifeless
I wandered like a waif
from one shore of hell to another
The shores of hell seemed endless
just like my suffering
Each oasis I saw
turned out to be a mirage
Then one day I gave up
the struggle to live
Offerring myself to be devoured
by hunger, pain and agony
No longer did I seek
Love and Light, but only death
Eons passed in this unending wait
for the messenger of death to arrive
Then one day I saw a light coming my way
hurtling towards me at lightening speed
Expecting death I lay still
waiting for my suffering to end
The ball of light struck me
and I fell down
When the "I" falls down,
it signals the end of suffering
For darkness begins to form
when the "I" comes between You and Light

I got bombed today

I got bombed today,
Yes I got bombed today
A part of me,
killed another part of me
Nay, a part of me,
tried to kill another part of me.
A part of me hates
another part of me
A part me wants to shred to tears
another part of me
A part of me wants to hang to death,
another part of me
A part of me wants to burn alive
another part of me
A part of me wants to terrorise
another part of me
A part me wants to bomb
another part of me
Yet, a part of me loves
another part of me
My heart bleeds for the bomber and the bombed
'cause both are children of the same God
If God can love them both,
how can I love one and hate another

I and my pain

Tears don't stop flowing
the heart doesn't stop hurting.
The pain is endless
with no end in sight.
Where did it spring forth from?
Who fathered this wretched thing?
It came uninvited,
tearing my life apart.
It turned my heart into stone,
sucking dry my ocean of love.
Hatred and anger sprang from it,
covering my life into darkness.
I became my worst enemy,
hating every fiber of my being.
The pain made me numb,
unable to feel, act or move.
My life force dwindled,
ephemeral, evanascent, transient.
I lost touch with reality,
pain bacame my only reality.
I wrote odes to pain,
immersing myself in it every waking moment.
God was an unknown entity,
relegated to an unknown lair.
My voice never reached Him
for He had gone deaf.
Deaf was the God,
and so were his Angels.
Never caring once,
for this God forsaken child.
Wasn't I a child of God,
just like every other being.
Why did I go through hell,
for no fault of mine.
In return for my love,
only hurt and deceit did I get.
When I surrendered,
people trampled on me.
When I gave love,
they fled away taking away my trust.
How could God make such a horrible world,
horrible, painful and ugly.
Ugly is the world and ugly are it's beings,
Or so I thought.
I chanced upon a stranger,
who talked about God.
He knew my pain,
more than I knew it.
He felt so right,
but caused me fright.
Pain is an illusion,
Said the stranger.
The harder you fight it,
the stronger it gets.
Confront it in it's face,
and it melts away into thin air.
Like it never existed,
except in your imagination.